SIGHTING: DALE, INDIANA (UNITED STATES)

Witness Testimony

"I was taking a piss cos the bars were closed. went into the ditch outside my truck. heard a funny noise and looked up and saw what looked like a true value hardware store come floating down from the sky. these things that looked like a robot ape and his friend the giant insect were looking out the window. they identified themselves as mr axelrod and his friend gorgon. they shined a light that looked like a flame thrower at me causing me to drop my cigarette into the dry brush. i did not start that fire - they did. i actually shit my pant so i got back in and took off. i went to mcdonald's and got a quarter pounder with cheese no onions."